I am at the red and khaki palace, my workplace, and the place where I get to observe people every single day; hours a day. I do not know them, these people i see and sometimes interact with I only know superficially, or so I thought. I am the operator , and I must speak to people on the phone, in person, and over the walkie talkie. Over the phone I must recognize their tone, what type of person they might be, and how would they react in a bad situation. In person I can feed off of their gestures, tone, and appearance. Over the radio we interact as co-workers, but when it comes to a manager or supervisor, it is a serious conversation; where my emotions or attitude towards them must be kept in the dungeon at the tip of my tongue.
Today I have observed our guest (customers), my co-workers, and the people in charge . Our guest included females and males. The guest in person and over the phone ranged from happy to angry. Over the phone I had a guest which I recognized a very demanding tone. He reminded me of American Physco. The character wearing the mask was the person on the phone. I am sure this white man considered himself successful, and superior; he spoke to me that way. He made me confirm that some men in society are superior, or at least they think they are. A perfect example is how men are still paid more than woman.
In person a fem ale guest asked me if I could check if we had anymore boxers in her husbands size. The husband looked perfectly healthy, fit, well cut, but his face gave you the vibe a slathering snake. I clearly heard him tell her "I told you to go ask her, do something, stop being so fucken useless." This situation, besides causing me some large amounts of rage, pointed me to the aspirational words of De Carte saying that ones self is autonomous; is a complete lie. Not only am I disagreeing with De Carte, but a perfect example is how men think and are put up in a position by society and women, because in order for men to be at a higher position and remain there; women must allow, accept, and be content with being the lower being. This woman was not only allowing herself to be lower, but she was clearly dependent and followed orders, which meant this situation can even be compared to the master-slave relationship. When it came to dealing with co-workers over the walkie-talkie I had to deal with a manager. Hispanic, in his late thirties. This man is always very rude, always thinks he can boss people around, treat them like dirt, and say things he should think twice about, and not in an aggravating matter. What I feed off of him is lack of control, unhappiness, and hunger for control. His wife is also a manager and she is very controlling, intimidating, and bossy. Every time he speaks to others I assume is the way he wishes he could speak to her. He kept calling me over the radio, and when I responded he was a sarcastic prick, so I returned the favor and was a jerk. I believe he seeks to be in control , he wants Independence, but he knows that at home he does not have that. In the workplace he decides to switch roles to feed his starvation for control. However his hunger is not always fed, because I am not the cookie cutter housewife. I am a modern woman that wants respect, but of course to many, I would be a bitch; just like his wife.
When it comes to the boss and me, it is the master-slave relationship; the worker and owner relationship. She always orders me around, yells, complains, naggs, and erupts in dispute about everything. Their have been moments when I would love to throw my walkie at her head, punch her in the face, and have a (Mean Girls) moment. Derrida enters my mind " We are always, already unstable, and in play; because we always depend on one another." While thinking of Derrida , subconsciously my dignity is screaming at me "tell her what you think, strike her, just do it." Today she yelled at me in front of a lot of guest, telling me, commanding, ordering me to not only do my job, another co-workers, but to order her food. I felt humiliated, I wanted to scream, but then I thought " I depend on this prick." If I mouth off to her she will never let it go, her best friend is the head supervisor, the head honcho. In a chain reaction, in a matter of time, I could be fired. I then fell in to the ambiguous life of being the slave, the worker, and my boss being not just the owner, but the master. In all of these situations I found radical romance, and some forms of normality. The man I spoke to, would in some way represent the successful American. He is the man we would go weak at our knees for; because of his position, obviously not because of his allure. The relationship between the two managers can be both radical and normal. her being in charge of the relationship can be seen as radical because for as long as history has existed, men have always been in command. However, even if they do seem a bit obscure, it can be normal because in todays modern society woman are taking on more male roles than ever. As for my boss and me, it can be both radical and normal. Our "love" relationship is that of the master and the slave. You work and I pay you, I say jump, and you jump. This relationship is radical because it can be unethical, humiliating, and hurtful. This relationship can also be normal in the eyes of the economy, because one is the worker, the other is the owner, and there is not one without the other. Without one another something can not only disrupt the economical; but the social status quo.
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